You have the rest of your life

“You have the rest of your life to be in a relationship.” That’s something my mom has been telling me ever since she found out about the girl I had a crush on in the first grade. It’s been about 17 years since then and she continues to tell me the same thing. I’ve never really gotten around to asking her why she thinks that way. Perhaps she thinks no other woman would ever be able to take care of me as well as she did. Now that I think about it, that’s probably why she constantly refuses to give me her blessing to move out on my own.

I know for sure that my mom doesn’t read this thing, otherwise I’d be having a lot of awkward conversations with her. But for now, I’d just like to take a moment and acknowledge the greatest woman I know. She raised me right. No matter how lost I feel, I know I’ll be okay because she raised me to be stronger than whatever problem hits me. This woman taught me how to swallow my pride and showed me that respect, above all else, is what is necessary to make a relationship work. She made me embrace the idea that it takes just as much strength to follow as it would to lead. She made me realize early on that every woman deserves respect. I was raised in the arms of a queen. A woman who could be independent if the need ever came up. A woman who would do fine all on her own. Although my dad is by her side, she doesn’t lean on him for support. Instead of trying to be the center of each other’s lives, they can just sit back and enjoy life with each other.

“You have the rest of your life to be in a relationship.” Something I’ll take from my mother in stride. Earning a woman’s trust can be a difficult thing to do, if done the right way. Conventional thinking has always preached the idea that the man should take the lead in the relationship. While I don’t completely disagree with it, I don’t embrace it as my own either. It takes a lot for me to take a lead role, and probably takes even more out of me to take the backseat. So when a girl says I can decide what we can do or where we can go, I’ve learned to not only see that she’s trusting me, but she’s trusting herself as well.

I guess with all that said, there’s only one thing left to say. “You have the rest of your life to be single.” Guys, don’t be afraid to say “Hi” to the girl who leaves you speechless. Ladies, don’t be afraid to say “yes” to the guy who’s struggling to find the words to ask you out. Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but there’s maybe only a handful of fish that would make you say the wait was worth it. So if and when you finally get a catch, don’t be so quick to throw it back in, you never know what it might become. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t? Then at least you gave it a shot, that’s all anyone could ever really ask for anyway.

(Yes, I did use a fish metaphor.)