30 days left–after 4 long years, I’ve finally made it here. This is my fourth quarter.
Thinking about how close I am to the end, I can’t help but think of how different it was in the beginning. Looking back, I had no idea what I was doing or why I was doing it. I was 17 years old, a freshman at an all girls school, probably still the youngest in my class, and I applied to a school for no other reason than my indecisiveness. I wish I had this blog back then. That way I could look back at my old posts and laugh at how ridiculous I was acting. I was still a kid, I had no idea how things worked. I had a lot of learning to do.
Fast forward 3 more years and I still haven’t the slightest idea of what I’m doing. Yeah, I’m majoring in nursing, but what am I really doing? Not a lot has changed since then, I still have a lot of growing to do. I suppose the only difference is that now I have confidence in myself, and I have a supportive girlfriend to back me up.
I used to feel invisible. Now I know I’m invincible.
There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for her. She’s got me to where I am today, and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be close to what I am without her. Of course I need to give proper dues to my parents and my grandparents, who have always gone out of their way to make sure that I had anything and everything I need to stay on track. But at the end of the day, she’s the one who pushed me. I wouldn’t even have a job waiting for me if it weren’t for her. Thanks baby love, you are my world.
As I mentioned earlier, I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t even really know where I’m going with this post. I just felt like writing because I haven’t in a long time, and I felt like my mind needs to rest.
It’s ridiculous to think that I’m graduating from college. It feels like it was just last week that I just graduated from 8th grade, full of relief that the long haul was over, and that high school was just around the corner. High school was uncharted territory for me, it was the next big thing. I lost a lot of friends from elementary school, but in exchange I found my best friends. Around this time four years ago, I was getting ready to leave high school. Senioritis hit me about just as hard as anyone else, and I entered dgaf mode well in the beginning of March. I was already accepted into the only college I applied to, and all I wanted to do was meet new people and grow up. Now all I really wanna do is go back and take my sweet time. The funny thing about school is: It feels like you’ve been studying for years and working on non-stop essays and group projects, but once you finally get some down time, you’re shocked to realize how fast it really went by. Yeah it sounds cliche but I’d love to go back in time with what I know now, and see how much I could accomplish. Nursing is cool and all, and I’ve taken serious interest in the clinical procedures/OR departments, but I still can’t shake this feeling that I could be doing something bigger. Don’t get me wrong, I have the greatest amount of respect for nurses, as they are the backbone of the healthcare system, but I still don’t believe that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Some of my friends look like they still don’t really know what to do, but then there are a select few that have developed a passion for something, and have done nothing but pursued their dreams. To be honest, I envy them. Not because they’re doing something that they want to do, but because they know what it is they want to do.
But I suppose I have the rest of my life to figure things out, and so far it’s been a lot of fun. I just need to finish what I started here first, not just for myself and for security. But because I made a promise to my grandpa that this was going to be for him. In 30 days I’ll see that promise fulfilled. After that, it’s free game. I’m meant to do something bigger than what I’ve been doing. I’m going to go find it.
It’s funny how we can all think like this, especially at this point in our lives, but you’ll feel just as shocked 5 years from now, and 5 from that, and so on. I feel old thinking about how I’m 21 and how our other friends are turning 22. It seriously feels as if we graduated 8th grade not too long ago.
This may be the end of your college career, but the start of a new point in your life. As much as we love to think we’re old and gone through so much, we’re still so young. Anything can still happen, you can end up doing the dream job you’ve always wanted, and I could end up being a nurse hahaha.
Well, my point is that we all still have so much “living” to do in our lives. You’re at the point where you get to start really living your life and embarking on your own journey past academics and into a real career. All I wanna say is “good luck!” and congratulations on getting there, and getting there on time.